“And anytime I have been in an unsuccessful relationship in my past, I have noticed, Oh, it’s because one of us was not able to say ‘I’.” Mindy Kaling
What does it really mean to forgive?
This post is very unconventional. Consider it more of a “Dear Diary” moment. Lately, I have been struggling with moving past things or people who have done me wrong. As a result, I noticed that my internal light has started to dim. As I try to climb out of this dark abyss I find myself slipping as I reach the illuminated peak. Along comes yet another slippery conundrum which throws me off my steady climb and I once again descend to the bottom.
I recently have started doing more soul searching and meditation as I noticed that this story which I just described to you has become more of my norm and truth than an occasional occurrence. Have you ever felt this way? How have you coped with crippling ideas and feelings?
My journey to reclaiming my light has not been easy. It has forced (and still is forcing) me to face some tough truths both about myself and people. Dealing with the truths about myself, though hard is something I can control. Dealing with the truths about those you can’t control is not an easy pill to swallow, especially the people are close to you.
There are two things which I have started doing to help me cope.
– Understanding and Using the “Power of Forgiveness“
Forgiving others serves to help you (the victim) move on. You are not acquitting the individual of all “charges” but you are releasing them from your physical, mental and emotional space. By Saying “I forgive you” you then remove the bondage on your heart and are able to move forward.
It is also important to forgive yourself. Many of us are guilty of holding on to the past and finding it difficult to forgive ourselves. Forgiving ourselves also has a physical benefit. It leads to a healthier life ie less stress eating, less anxiety, and less depression.
– Releasing and Loving from a Distance
It takes more energy to hate and to wish ill on others than to be honest with the individual who has done you wrong. Release your ego. Let them know how they have offended you and if it is something that is a showstopper for your friendship be honest with both yourself and that person and release them. Let them know you are releasing them and sincerely wish them well. You can continue to send positive energy and love from a distance but you should not have to inconvenience yourself any further.
As Martin Luther King once said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
For more information on forgiveness and self-love tune into and subscribe to the podcast by 2 Saints on a Mission, Ep1 The Purge