“Belief in oneself is contagious” – Mister Glass
If you have not seen the movie “Glass”, I recommend you take the time to watch it. At a high level, this movie focuses on the development of superheroes and villains. At a more in-depth review, it became apparent to me that this movie is a good representation of how adversity can create strong individuals.
Am I Invisible?
Can you or someone you know relate to not being seen or feeling insignificant? Many people take for granted how their actions (positive or negative) can have a lasting effect on another person’s life. It is up to us as the recipients however, to choose how to react. Blaming other’s for how we feel is a reflection of the power/control we have we relinquished to others.
4 Areas to Transition from Being Invisible to Invincible
While there are many areas that can be added to this list. Let’s review 4 of the most common areas.
1. Family
Family is the first place where we are introduced to values and morals. We not only learn right from wrong but also about the appreciation of self and others. There are however those families in which this is not the norm. Without focusing on the families which have abusive tendencies, there is still the possibility for (non-abusive) families to instill insecurity in each other. One way is through favoritism. Thinking in biblical terms, it’s a straightforward case of “Cain and Abel”. I will not discuss/analyze the reason and motive behind this biblical story, however, it is clear that the perception of favoritism can create jealousy. This, in turn, can develop into a feeling of unworthiness/invisibility.
Another way is through assumptions – sometimes families assume that a person has it all under control and fail to check in or offer assistance. Not only have I experienced both of these situations, but I have also been a culprit of demonstrating said behavior. The moments of feeling invisible were the catalyst for my success. It encouraged me to do better, I found the silver lining in my cloud of invisibility.
2. School
For most people, school can be an incredible experience. We get a great education, meet our best friends, even our spouses and build fun memories to last a lifetime. There are some, however, who feel differently. School can also be a place where insecurities are created and/or confirmed. It is not just kids bullying other kids but also sometimes even teachers or those in leadership can play a part in creating these feelings. It may not be intentional, but the failure to acknowledge/listen to a student(s) or primarily focus only top performers can lead to a person feeling less confident and worthy. This can lead to acting out as a cry for attention/help. As a result, the outcome can be tragic. The clip below is a recent example of how bullying leads to invisibility and result in a tragedy. It also people calls to light that perhaps people do not respond as quickly as they should to complaints of bullying.
“The number of children and teens in the United States who visited emergency rooms for suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts doubled between 2007 and 2015, according to a new analysis….”
We as a community should encourage kids to speak up. Grown-ups should listen – ESPECIALLY when there is a complaint about bullying or feeling less than perfect. Parents are not exempt, however, schools need to recognize and understand the rare opportunity that they have been given to help build ALL kids into invincible human beings. (Of course, this is not confirming that schools are not trying).
3. Workplace
As an African American female in a leadership role in a male-dominated environment, there are many times that I felt like my input is not valued. While some of it may be a result of me “getting in my head”, there is still a visible distinction between the response I get and the response a male gets during meetings, especially when we are saying the same thing. Ironically, this too has made me the successful individual that I am because it has forced me to work harder. It does not absolve individuals of belittling their peers or treating others as insignificant, however, the point is while we can not change the actions of others we can change our reactions. We can go from invisible to invincible.
4. Relationships
This one is tricky because one may ask “How can you be invisible in a relationship?”. Funny thing it is so easy to become invisible when you get too comfortable in a relationship. Although I am not a licensed relationship counselor, it is obvious that when people stop making the efforts they made when they first started dating then one person or maybe both, begin to suffer. There are many reasons for infidelity but this is definitely one of the reasons. You may be wondering though “How can I become invincible”? In this situation, you have to see it as “How can my relationship become invincible?”. To make your relationship stronger, both parties need to make an effort. There needs to be more open communication of needs and feelings. A sensitive approach should be taken for topics that are not the easiest to address. Most importantly you should not take your partner for granted.
In summation, in all the cases listed above, there is an opportunity to use the feeling of invisibility to transition from the victim to the victor. As stated earlier, we can’t change other’s actions however we can change/manage our own. Mindset is a powerful tool against adversity negativity.
For more information on Suicide Prevention
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, across the United States.
Dr. Edith Bracho-Sanchez. “Number of children going to ER with suicidal thoughts, attempts doubles, study finds” CNN, 8 April 2019, https://www.cnn.com/2019/04/08/health/child-teen-suicide-er-study/index.html
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